The following is a conversation the good Professor Tillman via instant messenger. It’s been awhile since my marshmallow ass has put up a blog, since its cold out and I've got Justice League DVDs. so this is it for a week or so until I get my other shit typed up. And I’m working on another picture blog. So sit back and enjoy the random conversations we have.
Dr. Robinson (3:32:53 PM): I’ve got like 4 blogs that I’m too lazy/tired to type up
Professor Tillman (3:33:06 PM): Do it. I look forward to them
Dr. Robinson (3:34:07 PM): I need to start bringing a notebook to work. I have to take my smoke breaks in my car, and it’s pretty boring
Dr. Robinson (3:34:15 PM): but I have had some really random thoughts
Professor Tillman (3:34:22 PM): Such as…
Dr. Robinson (3:35:50 PM): ok, like if Bruce Wayne gets unmasked, would the police get him for embezzlement from Wayne tech?
Dr. Robinson (3:36:06 PM): because that’s a serious charge in today’s world
Professor Tillman (3:36:14 PM): Huh...
Professor Tillman (3:36:19 PM): I would not have guessed
Professor Tillman (3:37:21 PM): He could have made Batman a limited liability corporation with himself as sole-proprietor and then taken the money from Wayne tech as part of a consulting fee. Common tax-shelter shit in the super hero world
Dr. Robinson (3:37:34 PM): hmm
Dr. Robinson (3:37:36 PM): good call
Professor Tillman (3:37:45 PM): Yeah man.
Dr. Robinson (3:37:57 PM): but then the IRS would be in his shit for writing off so much stuff
Dr. Robinson (3:38:15 PM): "you could have caught The Riddler with like 4 less clues”
Professor Tillman (3:39:29 PM): Not necessarily. One company is writing off expenses as they sell/give shit to Batman LLC (I wouldn't necessarily call it that but you get the idea) and Batman LLC is itemizing each individual tech thing on their taxes. It's all good. If Wayne Corp gives it away then they can deduct it.
Dr. Robinson (3:39:54 PM): true, but the paper work would be staggering
Professor Tillman (3:40:29 PM): Robin's fag enough for some accounting work
Dr. Robinson (3:40:58 PM): but who would Alfred work for? Would he get two W2's? or would he be self employed and just free lance it?
Professor Tillman (3:41:51 PM): Not necessarily. He's Wayne Tech all the way I think and then would be a tech consultant for the burgeoning Batman LLC.
Professor Tillman (3:42:01 PM): Not a conflict of interest at all
Dr. Robinson (3:42:06 PM): hmmm
Professor Tillman (3:42:23 PM): I think we just wrote your next blog entry.
Dr. Robinson (3:42:33 PM): so would Batman need to report all his stuff as self employment, or Batman LLC?
Dr. Robinson (3:43:08 PM): and if Wayne tech is giving all these gifts to Batman LLC then I think it would be an insider trader’s nightmare
Professor Tillman (3:43:17 PM): You file a W9 for self-employment when you're sole-proprietor.
Professor Tillman (3:44:17 PM): You could set someone else up as CEO of Batman LLC. Like Vicky Vale or some shit. A lot of guys put their companies in their wife's name to duck out on the chance of bankruptcy. It might work in this scenario too.
Dr. Robinson (3:44:45 PM): hmm, that might be true
Dr. Robinson (3:44:56 PM): so why not set up a dummy company for the dummy company
Professor Tillman (3:45:03 PM): Does Batman still fuck with Vicky Vale? I never thought Kim Basinger was that hot.
Professor Tillman (3:45:19 PM): For what purpose though?
Dr. Robinson (3:45:19 PM): I think that movie and one comic back in the 60s
Dr. Robinson (3:45:35 PM): because Batman's crazy as hell
Professor Tillman (3:45:42 PM): Hmmm....well. Someone else then; Not Catwoman. Bitch is crazy
Professor Tillman (3:45:59 PM): I guess you could.
Dr. Robinson (3:46:11 PM): get The Riddler to do it. That dudes probably good with forms like that
Dr. Robinson (3:46:21 PM): plea bargain it
Dr. Robinson (3:46:32 PM): count it as community service, and its all gold
Professor Tillman (3:46:33 PM): I still say Robin. He's got office bitch written all over him
Dr. Robinson (3:46:38 PM): an intern
Professor Tillman (3:46:53 PM): Yes! An intern! Always make the intern do it!
Dr. Robinson (3:46:59 PM): that’s what robin is
Professor Tillman (3:47:10 PM): I concur
Dr. Robinson (3:47:22 PM): college age kid, not getting paid, shitty hours, horrible uniform....
Professor Tillman (3:47:30 PM): Tight ass pants
Dr. Robinson (3:47:41 PM): yeah, those were pretty gay
Dr. Robinson (3:48:00 PM): that’s sexual harassment scandal at Batman LLC right there
Professor Tillman (3:48:28 PM): Yeah. You know Alfred's got some dirty old man left in him
Dr. Robinson (3:49:05 PM): yeah
Dr. Robinson (3:50:30 PM): but I still think its embezzlement since Wayne tech is a public owned company
Dr. Robinson (3:50:49 PM): the stock holders don’t have a say in what Batman spent the cash on
Professor Tillman (3:52:34 PM): But he does have to answer to the board for his investment strategy, his consultants, etc. He's clear. If he has a firm such as Batman LLC handling whatever and is paying them with Wayne Tech products, Batman LLC could also be beta-testers for said products, further justifying the need for such a company.
Dr. Robinson (3:52:53 PM): good loophole
Professor Tillman (3:52:54 PM): Gravy train
Professor Tillman (3:53:05 PM): Biscuit wheels
Dr. Robinson (3:53:18 PM): if I’m ever in trouble I'm getting your ass for legal representation
Professor Tillman (3:53:25 PM): For sure
Dr. Robinson (3:53:51 PM): but would all that go for the Justice League as well?
Dr. Robinson (3:54:03 PM): I’m sure they’re suckling at the Wayne tech teat
Professor Tillman (3:54:12 PM): I don't know shit about the Justice League.
Professor Tillman (3:54:23 PM): You would think though
Dr. Robinson (3:54:27 PM): ok
Dr. Robinson (3:54:39 PM): I think this might be my new blog
Dr. Robinson (3:54:45 PM): New
Professor Tillman (3:54:52 PM): Do it dude.
Professor Tillman (3:55:24 PM): "Suckling at the Wayne Tech teat" is worth the price of admission alone
Dr. Robinson (3:55:39 PM): we need to be on some Crossfire like show
Dr. Robinson (3:55:50 PM): debating random trivial shit in Armani suits
Professor Tillman (3:55:52 PM): Oh hells yes
Professor Tillman (3:56:12 PM): Special guests each week. You know the audience would come stoned though
Dr. Robinson (3:56:27 PM): it would be Sunday morning hangover TV
Professor Tillman (3:56:36 PM): The fact that we pull this off without the use of cannabis is staggering
Dr. Robinson (3:56:44 PM): "this is all that’s on and I threw up on the remote. It’s getting watched"
Dr. Robinson (3:57:04 PM): stoned you and I would solve every problem ever
Professor Tillman (3:57:18 PM): Every problem. Ever. Yes.
Professor Tillman (3:58:14 PM): Some things will never change.
Professor Tillman (3:59:01 PM): Fuck it dude. We could have unionized the foot soldiers in TMNT. That could translate into a think tank job at the least.
Dr. Robinson (3:59:14 PM): yes
Dr. Robinson (3:59:22 PM): you should throw that on your resume
Professor Tillman (3:59:31 PM): God damn right I could
Dr. Robinson (3:59:40 PM): that’s why you’re a Professor and I’m a Doctor
Dr. Robinson (3:59:43 PM): shit like that
Professor Tillman (3:59:53 PM): Fuckin-A
Dr. Robinson (4:00:41 PM): this Batman LLC conversation is one that if wed had it in a diner people would have chipped in their 2 cents
Professor Tillman (4:01:28 PM): Yeah. You know there's someone out there studying for the bar exam who would be taking notes and shit.
Dr. Robinson (4:01:39 PM): it would be a thesis
Dr. Robinson (4:01:53 PM): shit....that’s your ticket to grad school
Professor Tillman (4:02:07 PM): You may be right
Dr. Robinson (4:02:43 PM): well, I need to go smoke; this has blown my mind for the moment
Dr. Robinson (4:02:49 PM): you going to be on in a few?
Professor Tillman (4:03:10 PM): Yeah. I may go for a smoke too.
Dr. Robinson (4:03:15 PM): cool
Professor Tillman (4:03:28 PM): We'll continue our round-table discussion in a few
Dr. Robinson (4:03:31 PM): word
Dr. Robinson (4:20:56 PM): ok I’m back
Professor Tillman (4:23:54 PM): me too.
Dr. Robinson (4:24:41 PM): so I was thinking also, wouldn’t the villain’s Batman fights be able to sue for libel?
Dr. Robinson (4:25:07 PM): defamation of character at the least
Professor Tillman (4:25:58 PM): No. It depends what's in Batman LLCs charter. If they're criminals and Batman LLC has some involvement with law enforcement, then probably not. If they're strictly "consulting" it might be complicated, but I don't know if that would result in libel.
Dr. Robinson (4:26:58 PM): I still think the IRS would be in his shit hardcore for all the gadgets he has
Dr. Robinson (4:27:17 PM): they’d have him fighting crime by the numbers in a year
Professor Tillman (4:29:00 PM): I'm saying dude - he's in consulting and in beta-testing for Wayne Tech. He could also be a development firm, testing the tech stuff in new settings etc, which could be used to distance Bruce Wayne from Batman even. Like "we just make such and such gadgets and then license them to independent firms" aka Batman or the Justice League.
Professor Tillman (4:29:36 PM): I'd invest everything I had in such a corporation.
Dr. Robinson (4:29:44 PM): I still think there would be a Martha Stewart like scandal
Dr. Robinson (4:30:15 PM): and with the latter two Robins, I don’t think either of them were 16, so I think there are child labour laws to contend with there
Dr. Robinson (4:30:34 PM): he’d get the 'sweatshop' branded on Batman LLC and it would all go downhill
Professor Tillman (4:31:41 PM): You may be right. But I think a stock option would be the least that Bruce Wayne would get for bankrolling a company so integral to the success of Wayne Tech and, let's face it, the Gotham economy as a whole. The Robin thing is something for Immigration though - I think he's really a Mexican personally.
Dr. Robinson (4:32:09 PM): you think Robin the boy wonder is a fucking day labourer?!?
Dr. Robinson (4:32:23 PM): NAFTA isn’t going to like that
Professor Tillman (4:32:44 PM): Night Laborer really. He's a crafty little beaner
Dr. Robinson (4:32:52 PM): ...wow
Professor Tillman (4:32:58 PM): yeah.
Dr. Robinson (4:33:23 PM): so is that why he’s so quick to get away from the villians? He’s got no green card?
Professor Tillman (4:33:44 PM): Most likely yes.
Dr. Robinson (4:33:59 PM): is that why the first Robin became Nightwing? Robin II would work cheaper with no benefits?
Professor Tillman (4:34:18 PM): And underage. Don't forget.
Dr. Robinson (4:34:32 PM): well that’s a given
Professor Tillman (4:34:36 PM): Business ethics are really slipping nowadays.
Professor Tillman (4:34:58 PM): But he's doing the work that no one else wants to do so I guess it's alright
Dr. Robinson (4:35:08 PM): there’d be a website protesting Batman LLC like there is for Wal-Mart
Professor Tillman (4:36:17 PM): Which requires a PR department to handle such affairs. You see the business is growing. This isn't just some Mom-and-Pop shit anymore.
Professor Tillman (4:36:38 PM): 401Ks and profit sharing man.
Dr. Robinson (4:36:44 PM): and dental
Professor Tillman (4:36:58 PM): Fuckin-A right, there better be dental.
Dr. Robinson (4:37:21 PM): but Batman LLC seems to be a non-profit organization. Would they be exempt from certain tax codes?
Professor Tillman (4:38:40 PM): Non-Profit status is tricky. Then he could accept the materials from Wayne Corp directly and they could write off the donation, but that would be tricky when it came to the conflict of interest that would arise in Bruce Wayne being a part of both companies.
Professor Tillman (4:38:50 PM): Wayne Tech rather
Dr. Robinson (4:38:54 PM): my point exactly
Dr. Robinson (4:39:03 PM): that’s a whole new can of worms
Professor Tillman (4:39:44 PM): That's why they could be a for profit group offering a service to Wayne Tech as opposed to a 501(c)(3) with one donor. That shit gets hairy man.
Dr. Robinson (4:40:34 PM): I think Wayne could get religious status since he’s pretty adamant about it
Dr. Robinson (4:40:41 PM): it’s nearly a cult
Professor Tillman (4:40:54 PM): Or make it a family foundation, in which case they would need to be giving money back - like a Batman scholarship or some shit. Send Robin to beauty school or something
Dr. Robinson (4:41:17 PM): for only a dollar a day
Professor Tillman (4:41:24 PM): Hell yes
Dr. Robinson (4:41:27 PM): you can feed this boy wonder
Professor Tillman (4:41:37 PM): Buy him some new pants
Dr. Robinson (4:41:39 PM): give him badly needed medicines that his country doesn’t have
Professor Tillman (4:41:51 PM): Viva Mexico!
Dr. Robinson (4:41:52 PM): yeah, the pants issue is a big one
Professor Tillman (4:41:56 PM): Indeed
Professor Tillman (4:42:27 PM): In which case I actually think he's Cuban. They'd wear some fruity shit like that. Think of fucking Sosa in Scarface...
Dr. Robinson (4:42:49 PM): I wasn’t impressed with Scarface
Dr. Robinson (4:42:58 PM): so he makes it to the top, big deal
Professor Tillman (4:43:14 PM): Me too! I thought I was the only motherfucker alive who thought it was pure unfiltered cheese
Dr. Robinson (4:43:17 PM): he still winds up with a blow problem and wants to hump his sister
Professor Tillman (4:43:27 PM): Don't we all?
Dr. Robinson (4:43:30 PM): and I know of another man who came up the ranks
Dr. Robinson (4:43:39 PM): who went from poverty to riches
Professor Tillman (4:43:39 PM): ...
Dr. Robinson (4:43:44 PM): a man who went from nothing to everything. Who was head of a mighty empire.
Dr. Robinson (4:43:48 PM): his name? Colonel Sanders
Professor Tillman (4:44:08 PM): It always comes back to the Colonel. Now I really want some fucking wings...
Dr. Robinson (4:44:23 PM): it’s the same story
Dr. Robinson (4:44:27 PM): poverty to empire
Dr. Robinson (4:44:33 PM): chemical addiction
Professor Tillman (4:44:44 PM): Chemical addiction?
Dr. Robinson (4:44:49 PM): plus I’m pretty sure the colonel got shot to death by the dude that owns Churches chicken.
Dr. Robinson (4:44:56 PM): 11 herbs and spices my man
Dr. Robinson (4:45:05 PM): that’s addiction
Professor Tillman (4:45:06 PM): Ah...
Professor Tillman (4:45:22 PM): Yeah. One that I share with him. I stab a man for a chicken pot pie right now.
Professor Tillman (4:45:35 PM): I would stab a man I mean
Professor Tillman (4:45:49 PM): No one's been stabbed yet. I don't know who has those
Dr. Robinson (4:45:57 PM): pot pies are good, but they take too long to cook at home
Professor Tillman (4:46:43 PM): Fuck it. It's worth the wait. I had a weird realization the other day that I would in fact cut a bitch for a chicken pot pie. Perfect winter food if ever there was one
Dr. Robinson (4:46:56 PM): indeed
Professor Tillman (4:47:02 PM): In-deed
Dr. Robinson (4:47:14 PM): like fighting over cracker barrel breakfast
Professor Tillman (4:47:17 PM): We've progressed far in this roundtable
Professor Tillman (4:47:32 PM): By the way, the girl I saw at that table found me on Myspace
Professor Tillman (4:47:39 PM): Do you remember?
Dr. Robinson (4:47:40 PM): yeah, you mentioned that
Professor Tillman (4:47:45 PM): Oh yeah...
Dr. Robinson (4:47:50 PM): called you a dick or something
Dr. Robinson (4:48:05 PM): you should have walked up to her at cracker barrel and slapped her
Professor Tillman (4:48:07 PM): I'd love to make it a week without being called a dick
Dr. Robinson (4:48:08 PM): then taken her biscuits
Professor Tillman (4:48:27 PM): I'd have to fight the entire table for biscuits of that magnitude
Dr. Robinson (4:48:38 PM): id has gotten your back
Professor Tillman (4:48:52 PM): No. You'd be fucking with the peg game
Dr. Robinson (4:49:00 PM): I’d be stabbing people with pegs
Professor Tillman (4:49:08 PM): Nice.
Professor Tillman (4:49:27 PM): We've made quite a bit of progress in this roundtable, I'd say.
Dr. Robinson (4:49:36 PM): yeah, I need to not sleep more often
Professor Tillman (4:49:42 PM): But I still want a chicken pot pie
Professor Tillman (4:49:53 PM): I can't sleep for some reason either
Dr. Robinson (4:50:06 PM): so call up one of your ladies of the night and have her cook for you
Professor Tillman (4:50:28 PM): Oh - that's not going to happen. Trust me
Professor Tillman (4:50:34 PM): It came to a head two days ago
Professor Tillman (4:51:06 PM): I'm now down two crazy bitches. But there's more where they came from. Tillman LLC is always looking to hire more crazy bitches!
Dr. Robinson (4:51:52 PM): I think you need to up your screening process
Dr. Robinson (4:51:56 PM): do that background checks
Dr. Robinson (4:52:09 PM): actually have they fill out paperwork
Professor Tillman (4:52:32 PM): Doesn't matter. Apparently my permanent ad in the paper states: "will train for crazy."
Dr. Robinson (4:52:49 PM): you’re like the truck driver ads
Professor Tillman (4:52:55 PM): They develop while their here at the company. I nurture their craziness
Professor Tillman (4:53:10 PM): Or real Estate speculators
Dr. Robinson (4:53:12 PM): you’re a crazy bake oven man
Professor Tillman (4:53:22 PM): Nice
Dr. Robinson (4:53:39 PM): random crap over a light bulb and 10 minutes later - CRAZY!
Professor Tillman (4:54:03 PM): I'd be lucky if it took them 10 minutes.
Dr. Robinson (4:54:34 PM): that’s why I rarely get past the first conversation with women
Dr. Robinson (4:54:44 PM): I realize they’re crazy and run
Professor Tillman (4:55:01 PM): Yeah. Downhill from there. Except for that whole vagina business. That's a plus
Dr. Robinson (4:55:17 PM): yeah, those are fun
Professor Tillman (4:55:28 PM): That's what I hear
Dr. Robinson (4:55:35 PM): it’s been so long since I’ve seen on id probably try to throw rocks at it
Professor Tillman (4:55:45 PM): I'm on a vagina embargo right now
Professor Tillman (4:56:02 PM): No vagina allowed for at least a little while
Dr. Robinson (4:56:11 PM): it does clear the mind
Dr. Robinson (4:56:20 PM): like that Seinfeld episode
Professor Tillman (4:56:27 PM): Yeah it does
Professor Tillman (4:56:37 PM): Until the mouth attached to it starts up again
Dr. Robinson (4:56:54 PM): but after awhile you become so used to not having you just say whatever you’re thinking
Professor Tillman (4:57:30 PM): See - I'm so used to having it lately that I say whatever I want knowing that I couldn’t except a tang donation even if I wanted to
Dr. Robinson (4:57:37 PM): like the "god I wish shed shut up about her shoes" internal diatribe becomes "shut up about your shoes, stupid whore!" shouted at red robin
Professor Tillman (4:58:20 PM): You know - I'm surprised that hasn't gotten you laid. Turning on the asshole actually does work
Dr. Robinson (4:58:45 PM): true
Professor Tillman (4:59:11 PM): Yeah it's strange. When I was nice I was in the midst of a pussy ice age
Dr. Robinson (4:59:51 PM): next date I go on I’m making her pay and slapping her for talking
Professor Tillman (5:00:20 PM): And she will let you put it in her ass. I'd put money on it.
Professor Tillman (5:00:31 PM): or in it. Her ass that is
Dr. Robinson (5:00:58 PM): it’s not a coin star man
Dr. Robinson (5:01:13 PM): you can’t fire random change up there and expect cool stuff to happen
Professor Tillman (5:01:33 PM): If only
Dr. Robinson (5:01:56 PM): it’s got to be diamonds for that to work
Professor Tillman (5:02:02 PM): Hahaha
Dr. Robinson (5:02:04 PM): thus the ring of shame
Professor Tillman (5:02:14 PM): Yes.
Professor Tillman (5:02:31 PM): I'd put a ring on a bitch for a chicken pot pie right now.
Professor Tillman (5:02:45 PM): Or a #6 from Wendy’s. I'm that hungry
Dr. Robinson (5:02:54 PM): Wendy’s is good
Professor Tillman (5:03:11 PM): Yes. I had Arby's yesterday. My first meal out in fucking forever
Dr. Robinson (5:03:19 PM): I had Arby’s today
Professor Tillman (5:03:24 PM): Fuck you
Dr. Robinson (5:03:44 PM): but the tobacco shop in Louisville was closed from some gas main thing and it got cold by the time I hit alliance smoke shop
Professor Tillman (5:04:22 PM): I do have cigarettes which make my holding off on eating today not quite as urgent. But it's caught up with me now
Dr. Robinson (5:04:40 PM): you get a roller yet?
Professor Tillman (5:04:52 PM): Not yet. Next purchase for sure.
Dr. Robinson (5:05:16 PM): I got what will make 600 or so smokes for $22.22 today
Professor Tillman (5:05:44 PM): Fucking hell dude. I need to get on that. I bummed some of your cigs out when I got back and people loved them
Dr. Robinson (5:06:04 PM): yep
Dr. Robinson (5:06:09 PM): they are smoooooooth
Professor Tillman (5:06:15 PM): Indeed.
Professor Tillman (5:06:23 PM): And on that note...I need food.
Dr. Robinson (5:06:27 PM): I need sleep
Thanks for reading, but that’s it for now, kids.
Dr. R
