Thanks for reading, but that’s it for now, kids.
Dr. R
P.S. let me know how you like the picto-blog. I might do more.
this is what my car looked like after the first week. It's a 30 minute drive from there to work.
This is the view pretty much THE WHOLE WAY DOWN THERE! Half an hour of a trucks ass-end. great!
The Goodwill was one of the few things that kept me sane down there.
This is a treasure map. To Fish Stick Island! Oh, you want proof? Here you go:
The Captain from that picture.
And the Gordon Fisherman. It's fucking him, dude. And he left me a MAP!
They had random white trash crap that are Goodwill's bread and butter, but they also had all the hits of the 1980's on fucking VINYL! The way nature intended!
They also had a Dollar General Supermarket Of The Future! It was like a bizarro white trash alternate universe version of Sam's Club. A universe where they didn't discover the wheel.
I was so scared of this product my teeth nearly rotted taking this picture. Do NOT stare at it for too long.
I felt froggy so I decided to spend a dollar on some form of guava juice I had never heard of. I wanted to express to all of you what it tasted like....
So I set the timer and took a picture right as the drink touched my tongue. It tastes like dying.
And it had little chunks of what I assume is dirt in it.
See you in HELL vile guava juice!
Now onto the house. We stayed at my Aunt's late father's house. He was like 93 or something, so he had all sorts of crazy old person paraphernalia
The sheriff's station was right next door. And as you can see, RIGHT next door means 10 fucking feet! I half expected the Duke Boys to come running out of there and get chased by a fat cop with a basset hound going "geet! geet! geet! dang Duke boys!" I would have even accepted Coy and Vance. But even they didn't show.
The old person carpet was like blowjobs for your feet.
The house got date raped by piano's.
My great uncle was obviously all about the cock. Where did he GET all those fucking chickens and roosters!?!? I found maybe a dozen more, but by that time I was totally tired of taking pictures of cocks. Kind of like your sister when she goes on spring break. Sorry, I had to make one of those jokes. It was either that or "I've seen more cock today than a Scout leader on a campout." I think I took the high road there.
Getting subtle racism from old people is kind of like getting your CD player ripped out of your car by coke heads. It's just how they are.
But they got the "chinamen" as well as the "coloreds"
Oh, and the French
And some Indians. Casino Indians, not 7-Eleven Indians.
And ther was some stuff in the medicine cabinet. Most of it would probably kill you if you tired to use it. Old people are crazy like that.
There was a fucking PHONOGRAPH!
With a damn CRANK on it!
The records were as thick as sliced bread. See the nickel for perspective? Flapjack records!
On, and they had "blank discs" back in the day too! Music piracy isn't new.
They were shiny as hell.
Most of the rest of this stuff has no real 'theme' like the rest did. So here are some random pictures of crap from the house.
If I wasn't related to the owner of this house, and thus this plate, I would so be eating a pot pie off Nixon right now.
Flappers! The one on the left was the bee's knee's, but she'd probably say 23 skidoo to me courting her and I'd be doing the foxtrot alone.
Fisticuffs mansport! I hope I can grow a mustache like that someday.
Press 1 for...oh, you're fucked.
Cocoa-Cola was back then too? If my flux capasitor strands me in the 1930's I'll be fucking set!
This is a cake tray. No put it in the ice box, or anything. Put some glass on it, It'll be FINE!
Piano 1 up there was a player piano. These were it's song scroll's. They're like MP3's now. Get it now?
I have never seen a picture hung like this outside of a cartoon. I guess they did it that way and the cartoons copied it. Yeah, that makes sense.
Interracial horse love. Why you'd buy this and hang it on the wall is anyones guess.
The OFFICIAL bags of date rape!
And after 2 months of driving, this is what my car looked like the day I cleaned it out.
